Work and Routine for HSPs

April Snow 0:44

Don't expect yourself to keep up with the same pace as everyone else , to be highly productive day after day , to do everything perfectly . That's not realistic . We feel deeply right . We experience things at a more intense level than most , so we need to have space for that . Welcome to Sensitive Stories , the podcast for the people who live with hearts and eyes wide open . I'm your host , psychotherapist and author , april Snow . I invite you to join me as I deep dive into rich conversations with fellow highly sensitive people that will inspire you to live a more fulfilling life as an HSP without all the overwhelm .

April Snow 1:35

In this solo episode , I answered two listener questions Any suggestions on how to cope when my deep processing translates to working much slower than everyone else ? And how do we find balance in a sustainable routine when feeling deeply and overwhelmed by the daily hustle For more HSP resources ? And to see behind the scenes video from the podcast , join me on Instagram , TikTok or YouTube at Sensitive Strengths or sign up for my email list . Links are in the show notes and at sensitivestoriescom . My email list Links are in the show notes and at sensitivestoriescom . And just a reminder that this episode is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment with a mental health or medical professional .

April Snow 2:19

Let's dive in . How do you cope when your deep processing as a highly sensitive person translates to working more slowly than everyone else ? This question really hits home for me . There are so many things that I have taken months or even years to complete after I originally had the idea to want to do them , and that's not even including the day-to-day tasks that we need more time for Starting a podcast , becoming a therapist , changing my diet , so my body would feel better , becoming a therapist , changing my diet , so my body would feel better . Ending friendships that didn't support me . I could go on and on . And the reason that we take more time and we need to think things through is because when you're born with a highly sensitive trait , the main component of that is called depth of processing . It's not the emotionality or the kind of hypersensitivity that a lot of people assume it is . It's that your brain works in a different way .

April Snow 3:33

So deprocessing means having a break , a little break , a stop in your brain , which is called the behavioral inhibition system , which is kind of like it sounds . You're inhibiting behavior until you have time to think things through . So this creates a pause to think , to reflect before you act . So this is actually a smart tool , evolutionary speaking , to keep you safe and alive . You want someone in your group , in your community , to notice the little details , to notice the dangers , to put ideas together , to keep track of all those little pieces .

April Snow 4:10

So being a deep processor , though , it also means that you're taking time not just to pause before you act , but also to think , to reflect , to integrate all of your experiences after they happen . So you're pausing and checking things out before , and then you're also pausing after and processing and integrating , so that way you can pull out any of the important information , the little details that are gonna be helpful to remember in the future and , just , basically speaking , to keep you safe . That's why it originally was created or kept going in us as humans , but also so you don't make the same mistakes again , so that you can strengthen your intuition . You can make really strong decisions . So this is great in decision-making , as you can imagine , to not only pause and think , but also to be someone who knows and notices all the little details and is able to put them together and then has a strong intuition around it . So there's going to be some details that you you know , and then some details that you don't know . You just intuitively know . It also helps with setting boundaries right , knowing what people are best to have around you , developing your intuition , as I talked about . But it can also slow you down right . This is gonna take a lot more time to do all this mental work , to take all those pauses before you do anything .

April Snow 5:31

So what can you do about that ? First , you can work more space into your schedule and your routine than what you're seeing other people doing . So , for instance , if you know it's going to take you 30 minutes to answer a really important email , carve out 30 minutes , not five minutes . Or if you know you need an hour to plan and cook dinner , be realistic about that . This is something I'm guilty of . I will start dinner five minutes before I want to be eating . Then everything else gets thrown off . So , just being realistic , how much time does it take you ? And if it takes you a little bit longer , build that into your routine .

April Snow 6:11

Work with your own rhythms instead of trying to put yourself in a box compared to what everyone else is doing . You also want to notice the benefits of taking your time and then also what happens when you rush right . We want to value these rhythms , this detail orientation , because it does bring a lot to the table . So put those pieces together for yourself . Here's what happens when I rush . Here's what happens when I take my time and I honor my own pace , because it's really easy to criticize yourself or to feel pressure to move more quickly , to do more , to keep up with everyone else , but this creates more mistakes , it creates more overwhelm , and then you're constantly overriding your own rhythms , which doesn't feel good .

April Snow 6:56

You also want to embrace a quality over quantity approach to everything . So this means you may need to take on less work , less social commitments , but you will do everything more thoroughly and you're going to prevent issues before they happen . You're going to notice what people need . You're going to prevent some blow up from happening . There's just a lot that comes from slowing down , doing less , but bringing more of yourself to it and , let's be honest , it's a trade-off right . You may not be able to complete as many tasks , socialize as often , meet milestones at the same time , but you will be more prepared , you will hit the ground running once you do start , because you have processed and figured everything out beforehand and you're going to make fewer mistakes along the way .

April Snow 7:43

So there's a lot of benefits there to going at your own pace , or what I like to call being on HSP time . So you're going to need to start working on accepting that this part of your trait is real . It's not going away that you do need more time to make decisions , you do need more time to complete tasks and you also need more time to transition from one thing to the next every single day . So build that in . And then there's another layer here which I don't want to ignore , because we have our baseline depth of processing slowing down . But there could be other things going on , which is making sure that you're not mentally overwhelmed and sluggish more than you need to be , more than is natural with the HSP trait , or that you're not getting stuck in perfectionistic or over-functioning mode to avoid a conflict or to kind of soothe out any anxiety that's present . So that's another thing to consider .

April Snow 8:40

You want to preemptively and regularly get more recharge time so your brain is rested and it's sharp to begin with . So you have that processing time , that integration time , built in . So this is a foundational need for any highly sensitive person . So getting one to two hours of decompression time every day where you can think , you can process , you can integrate what's happened throughout the day . This is absolutely essential to process your emotions and experiences . I know finding one to two hours a day probably sounds like a lot , and when you do you will be functioning at a much higher level . You feel less overwhelmed , less stuck in overthinking or anxiety mode . So there really is a benefit . Or anxiety mode so there really is a benefit . Think of it as your fuel . It's you giving your brain time to work and clear out before taking on the next day . So , working on the perfectionism part and the over-functioning this is bigger than I can get into in this conversation . But just to have another resource , you're welcome to watch my sensitive session workshop on soothing perfectionism . You can go to sensitivesessionscom to find that if that's something you want to dive deeper into , and you'll find links to more resources in the show notes .

April Snow 9:57

So on to the second question how do we find balance and a sustainable routine when feeling deeply and overwhelmed by the daily hustle or having a kind of solidified daily routine ? So , hsps , we can benefit from a routine . It provides familiarity , consistency , it lowers decision fatigue , since you don't have to constantly be processing something new or figure out every little thing that you need to do over and over and over again every day , like what to wear , what breakfast to eat , what time to get up , what time to go to bed , when to leave the house all those little decisions that you make every day . When you have a routine , a lot of those go away , so it frees up a lot of mental energy . This is why I eat the same breakfast for months at a time and I only like to have like one or two pairs of sneakers to choose from at a time . I like to simplify my decision making process . I'd rather use that mental energy elsewhere , honestly , and it just creates a lot more ease for me . So routines are supportive , but only up to a point

Creating Space for Sensitivity

April Snow 11:04

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April Snow 11:05

So you also will need unscheduled , unstructured space on a regular basis to unfurl , to get quiet , to catch up on feeling your feelings , processing your experiences , listening to your intuition and what's going on inside for you . This is why I absolutely relish a weekend with no plans . There's nothing better for me than a free space . I absolutely have to have one day a week with nothing to do . It's a must and essential for me . So it's not that I don't do anything on those days . It's the lack of needing to process and prepare for what's going to happen , which is what I enjoy . So we all need space to take a break from that every week .

April Snow 11:54

So think about waking up . With nothing on your agenda , you can slowly get out of bed , you can linger in your pajamas and then you can see what you feel called to do that day , and maybe that's staying on the couch , beginning a new show , reading a book , getting lost in it , maybe that's going out for a hike or heading to the movie theater . But just being able to decide in the moment , based on how you feel , how much energy you have , that is a very freeing feeling which we often don't get to experience as HSPs , when we're often on someone else's timeline or trying to keep up with other people's pace , so that can be a real gift . Routines will feel even more restrictive for sensitive folks who are also high sensation seekers , and that means having more needs for novelty and stimulation while also needing more downtime than most people . So that's something you will have to intentionally balance so both parts of you get your needs met . So that need for downtime and quiet , but also that need for stimulation and novelty , so those two can tend to fight each other a bit . So if you think this might be you , I'll include a link to the highest sensation seeking test from Dr Elaine Aron in the show notes so you can check that out .

April Snow 13:19

So for anyone who knows me personally , you know I absolutely live by my calendar . I have a weekly schedule and then I have a monthly schedule , which helps me get a lot of things done . It lets me wear different hats without a lot of stress . So I wear my therapist hat , author hat , podcast host hat , consultant hat just a lot of different pieces to my daily puzzle . Just a lot of different pieces to my daily puzzle . So having a well-organized schedule of routine gives me a sense of ease and really curbs that overwhelm of doing a lot at once . So I know what's getting done when I don't have to stress about it . I know there's somewhere for it to fit into my schedule and it also takes away that decision fatigue of when am I doing what when ? So having a routine really supports me . However , I also need a counterbalance to that . You know I need to be able to have free space so I don't feel stifled or suffocated by that structure all the time .

April Snow 14:19

As I'm sure you know , some days you don't have the emotional or the mental energy , the capacity to do what you have planned . That definitely comes up for me . So I personally need wiggle room in my schedule . I need to be able to honor my energy needs , those ebbs and flows that happen , or just to tend to my emotions if something difficult has happened . So , let's say , I've had a heavy week of meeting with my therapy clients . Maybe something a client is going through really touches into something that I personally have experienced , so it's more evocative than usual . I'm not gonna feel up to writing a blog post or recording a video , and that's just not gonna feel like a good fit . So when I'm having a heavy emotional week , I'll reschedule whatever I can , which is why it's important to have some open space in your schedule so you can move things around as you need to , based on how you're feeling in the moment , and so you want to again leave space for those ebbs and flows right , those changes and shifts in your emotions and your energy levels . It's really important to have that for yourself .

April Snow 15:26

Don't expect yourself to keep up with the same pace as everyone else , to be highly productive , day after day to do everything perfectly . That's not realistic . We just never know how we're going to feel or react to something . We feel deeply right , we experience things at a more intense level than most . We need to have space for that in our daily or weekly routines . And then making sure that you have that counterbalance Time to rest , to process , because your brain is using a significant amount of energy , noticing all the little details , processing everything that you pick up and everything that you go through each day . Other people are not working that hard internally . Their brains are just not working at that same level . So you really need to have that extra space to rest and process .

April Snow 16:17

It's also really important to have unstructured , unscheduled time every week . That could look like reserving the same day , let's say , every Saturday . You just keep a clear schedule , or maybe you choose a different day of the week depending on what's going on that particular week , what's going on in your life at the time , and that could also support you if you like more flexibility , if you like to change things up a bit , but making sure you get one day off a week to catch up with yourself , to rest , recharge , so you want to be able to have space to deep dive into your interests , your hobbies , your work , projects , but then be able to crash and recover and recharge and be in your own bubble for a while . So allow yourself those again , those ebbs and flows . It's really important to let that happen and then allow yourself to feel those big positive feelings , that euphoria , that excitement , that passion , but then you get to rest and you get to recover right , so you're really meeting yourself as you are . It's really important to do that , not try it again , not try to put yourself in a box of what everyone else is doing .

April Snow 17:30

And then , really important , having regular , consistent space to process your emotions , because without that that will disrupt your ability to show up , to keep a routine . If you're constantly battling with your emotions because they're trying to keep a routine , if you're constantly battling with your emotions because they're trying to get your attention but you're constantly pushing them away Because , remember , you do feel everything deeply . That is part of being a highly sensitive person . You feel the highs and the lows deeply and you have a wide range of emotional expression . So have a regular practice of being with those emotions , whether it's journaling before bed , it's going to therapy every week or it's expressing yourself in another way .

April Snow 18:16

Thanks so much for joining me for today's solo episode . What I hope you'll take away is that it's important to have space for the natural ebbs and flows in your energy and feelings . You will need more space and flexibility in your day-to-day compared to others , and that's okay . Taking time to rest , to process your emotions , to regularly reflect on your experiences , allows you to show up more fully in your relationships , make stronger decisions with fewer mistakes , do better quality work and access your sensitive gifts of creativity , intuition , empathy and so much more . If you'd like to submit a question for a future episode , go to sensitivestoriescom and be sure to check out the show notes for more resources . If you enjoyed this episode , subscribe to the Sensitive Stories podcast so you don't miss our upcoming conversations . Reviews and ratings are also helpful and appreciated For behind-the-scenes content and more HSP resources . You can sign up for my email list or follow sensitive strengths on instagram , tiktok and youtube . Check out the show notes or sensitive storiescom for all the resources from today's episode . Thanks for listening .