Navigating Work and Mental Health

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 0:00

I always tell myself it's important to make money , but at the cost of my health , of my mental health , of anything else . I have every right to pull the plug on this job and respectfully walk away and not think about it twice because I feel stressed out for whatever reason .

April Snow 0:16

So that's been hard , but it's been really beneficial welcome to sensitive stories , the podcast for the people who live with hearts and eyes wide open . I'm your host , psychotherapist and author , april snow . I invite you to join me as I deep dive into rich conversations with fellow highly sensitive people that will inspire you to live a more fulfilling life as an HSP without all the overwhelm . In this episode , I talk with Lisa Marie Vecchio about moving from corporate to freelance work to feel more freedom and ease as an HSP , trusting your gut and knowing it's okay to be a little selfish to get your needs met , and the importance of creating moments of visual beauty all around you .

April Snow 1:10

Lisa Marie is a Brisbane-based graphic designer and muralist illustrating art that encourages and uplifts . Her designs are recognized as colorfully eye-catching , created with the intention of communicating hope , joy and empowerment . After 10 years working as a designer in the business and corporate sectors , lisa Marie started to explore the more creative side of design , seeing a shift in her art style , she then looked for opportunities to recreate her digital art as murals refreshing public spaces with a burst of vibrance and color . As murals refreshing public spaces with a burst of vibrance and color . For more HSP resources and to see behind-the-scenes video from the podcast , join me on Instagram , tiktok or YouTube at Sensitive Strengths or sign up for my email list . Links are in the show notes and at sensitivestoriescom . And just a reminder that this episode is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment with a mental health or medical professional . Let's dive in . Okay , lisa , could you start off by telling us your HSP discovery story , how or when you realized that you're a highly sensitive person ?

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 2:40

I realized it , I guess , growing up , but there was never a label for it , as I guess yourself or like your listeners would understand that you always knew you were sensitive because you know family would say , oh , it's okay , it's not a big deal , stop crying If you were having a tantrum about something as a small child or high school . You just get really upset about something . It's always those sort of like I always knew I had a lot of big emotions and it was kind of like , oh well , I would just put myself in that bucket of like oh yeah , I'm just a drama queen , it's all good , people still love me , like it's . It's just where I sat . And it wasn't until I was going through a really difficult season back in 2000 , like 2020 . I just had finished , I had finalised my divorce the year before and gone through a lot of really deep emotions of grief and loss and heartache and betrayal and I was kind of struggling to move forward with it .

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 3:44

Even though the divorce had happened the year before , I was still sitting with a lot of sort of the residue of what had gone on . So I was like I'm starting to suppress my emotions now because I don't want to bleed out into everyone else because they're kind of like oh we know , it was a couple of years ago , why don't you just get over it now ? Why aren't you dating ? Why aren't

The Power of Art and Sensitivity

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 4:05

you moving on ? I felt really stuck and then I started doing art journaling , which was fantastic because I felt all these emotions come out and I was able to put words to images .

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 4:17

And then started googling and that's where you came up . So I came across your . It was five ways to access your strengths as a highly sensitive person . And that's when I like messaged you . I was like hey , april , my name's Lisa Like just slid into your DMs that I was like you have a really wonderful quote on this blog post about your being sensitive as a superpower . And I'm like may I use that quote Because I think it'll be great , it'll be so great . I'm like I have this idea in mind and got this artwork I want to do and your words are just going to dovetail in really beautifully . And you're like yeah , absolutely , and I finish it and I send it . And you're like , yay , it was like really nice , I guess that was kind of like bonding moment over highly sensitive things , I guess .

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 5:13

And then I started following you and then things started clicking into place when I started reading your content , because it was the only thing that was really like a silver bullet for me , understanding where my sensitivity was like so heightened and why I would experience things a lot more dramatically than others . So you have played a really integral part to put the pieces together . And then also listen to your podcast , I'm like , oh my gosh , there's more of us . This is fantastic . Listening to their stories and depths and then just being like I feel so sane right now and it has just made everything a lot more sense in my life now and it's more of a I'm more accepting of who I am as a being now instead of back years ago being like what's wrong with me , why can't I get over it ? And then I would just shut down or suppress what was going on here .

April Snow 6:08

Yeah , we really need that sense of community or reflecting back . Oh , I'm not the only one . I think a lot of us come to the realization that we're not just sensitive , but highly sensitive after kind of a monumental time of our lives , whether it be loss , grief or something positively transformative or we just have these really big feelings and are sitting with them for a lot longer than other people are . Right , you're saying , a year or two years later , you're still in them , which makes sense when you're a deep processor . But if you don't know that , you're like what's going on with me ? So what is wrong ?

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 6:45

right , and so we go to google yeah , google , sometimes a great thing , sometimes it's not and you're like , okay , great , I have cancer , I'm dying .

April Snow 6:55

But right , and other times it's like oh , this is the missing puzzle piece .

April Snow 7:00

Yes , you're like , I found community which is yeah , amazing so and it's so sweet to remember that moment . We met each other . We were chatting about it before the . We said we officially started and it's like , oh yeah , it's been a few years now and three years , yeah , yes . And how sweet that we're still in contact , and I mean the fact that you're expressing sensitivity through art and creativity , I think is so important because we're so . I don't know if this is your experience , but for me , words are so limiting to share how I feel yeah , yep they're just .

April Snow 7:35

We need more color and image .

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 7:38

Yeah , yeah , movement , and especially what they say . Uh , pictures worth a thousand words . Yes , like it's so true drawing .

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 7:45

It's like I could , you know , sit down with a therapist and talk everything out , which is great , but to draw everything out and use colors and be like right , this color makes me feel a certain way . I'm gonna use this one and bring it together and it helps just me . Sort of expressing myself in that way helps me feel seen and it also helps the people around me kind of get a glimpse into that highly sensitive brain and being like , oh I . It bridges the gap of like I don't understand you to like oh , we've got , like I can I see that you've created something . I get you .

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 8:21

I understand a little bit more about what's going on so you've been able to communicate more with people by sharing your art yes yeah and , in turn , connecting with random people on the internet as well , like that's been really helpful , because other HSBs or , you know , even people that are like really empathetic they'll find me somewhere in the algorithm on Instagram and be like oh , this spoke to me today . Like this exactly hits the nail on the head . And then I'm like oh , again , it makes our world feel that more small .

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 9:00

You're like oh , I'm not alone in any of this . I have someone on the other side of the world that's like yeah , I get you . I don't know you , but I get I get it .

April Snow 9:08

Yeah , isn't that such an amazing experience . You know , there's that universality . However , you want to say that that we all have this through line , that we share this thread , like we're all different , like you and I are living very far apart , but there's ways that we overlap and same with lots of other sensitive people . It's such a beautiful experience and now you're now sharing and inspiring people and spreading the word of sensitivity , educating people and letting them know like , hey , this is a thing I think that's so beautiful . Thank you . What other roles has creativity played in your life as an HSP ? You said , like use it to communicate , communicate emotion . Are there other ways it shows up for you ?

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 9:46

it's mainly through my art . I'm trying to think of other ways . I guess it's like , yeah , random things . Like if I'm setting up dinner and I'll arrange a fruit platter , oh yeah , just the little touches . And they're like , oh , that's really nice . I'm like , oh yeah , I assembled it into a rose because I thought it was going to be really cute . Or I put the fruit in color , or like just random little things that people see and they go , oh , that's really nice . And then they'll be like , oh , that that's so wholesome . And then it's this really nice moment that's created when I guess a lot of the world right now is quite chaotic and it's quite concerning at times , like having my creativity come through in those ways and other people HSBs and non-HSBs to pick up on it and be like oh , that's nice , yeah or like yeah , just like noticing stuff that people usually wouldn't notice .

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 10:41

Well , it's not more so creativity , but it's more so like I'll remember friends , birthdays , just the little details that are overlooked . I'll kind of just remember or random memories from years ago . People like oh , I totally forgot about that . Like do you remember the time when ? Like this isn't that , and I'll go into like a really in-depth story . Oh yeah , I've like totally blanked on that . Thanks , thanks bringing that up . That was like a really nice moment or whatever . Yeah , it just comes through in creative ways and non-creative ways just that attention to detail and visuals ?

April Snow 11:20

yeah , and I hadn't thought about you know , creativity does show up in so many different ways in our lives , and just thinking about how those little extra touches really impact people .

April Snow 11:31

And like you said , hsps are not . They notice and they feel it . Yeah , yeah . So like putting down a spread or a nice arrangement on the table , it's like , ah , it just gives things a little bit of something extra . Yeah , and for folks watching the video right now , looking at one of lisa's murals behind her , and it's like this is I don't know , just , it's a little bit of something visual , but it's impactful and it's inspiring and I don't know , I just add some color to life , literally and figuratively yeah , yeah , yeah , because it's yeah , I mean , life's hard enough as it is .

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 12:09

It's like why not make it beautiful in your own way and let that positivity radiate and affect others for good , yes , instead of just floating around being like , yeah , another day , well , let's see what happens ? Right ? It's like the power to create beauty and nice things , just for the sake of it being nice to look at .

April Snow 12:35

I love that we don't have to have a reason , just let it be beautiful , that's beauty for beauty's sake .

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 12:41

That's it , yeah .

April Snow 12:42

I love that , and so you obviously create art for yourself and for your friends and family , but you also create art for other people . In your work as a muralist , as a designer , do you have any favorite memories or things that stand out from that work with people that you'd like to share ?

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 12:58

yeah , I really love when and it's nothing huge or significant , it's just when either I'm doing a mural in public or I don't know it's just always that passing comment of thanks for doing what you're doing . It's always like I see you and I appreciate it . Yeah , or a young kid walks past with their parent and the parent's like that's a muralist , and then the kid like wants to ask questions and I'm like modeling a really admirable job that's doesn't .

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 13:30

That's usually overlooked sometimes , or it's like oh , you don't want to be an artist or whatever .

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 13:36

They're like never making money or whatever it's like no like I'm creating a life for myself , that I can do the things I want to do , and I set it at the pace that I want to go . So it's always , yeah , the little comments of thank you for doing what you're doing and all that artwork , this murals , just helped me Like I get random messages in , not even when I'm on site , but years later I'll get a message and someone will like drive past a mural and they'll be like you have

Transitioning From Corporate to Freelancer

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 14:08

no idea . I needed to hear that message today and this is incredible that the words never get old and it's public , it's there .

April Snow 14:16

People will see it for years to come and it's just that lasting legacy of what I created just , you know , so long ago , and it's just nice that things still impact people today what a beautiful contribution to make and and to know that your work is not just meaningful in the moment but it lasts , it continues to impact people and you're sharing these messages that stand the test of time , and I think that's so incredible . You know , we talked about kind of connecting with people over distance , but just knowing there's so many people that are inspired by your work that you'll never meet or know , yeah , it's so incredible which is incredible .

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 14:59

But I'm the kind of person that's like I want to meet them all . Yes , I want to , like , I want to know their story , but we won't ever get to know . But I'm always curious to find out why and how and all the details .

April Snow 15:13

So , yeah , that's the one thing I'm like it's great , but I only get like this much like this slice of the pie sometimes sure right , you only hear , maybe get an email or dm , instead of really getting to be with that person and their experience . Yeah , that has to be tough . I'm just thinking like for me as a therapist , I am in the room with people for sometimes years , but then to not be able to get that sense of what's happening for them , yeah , I would be curious and want more connection there .

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 15:45

Yeah , a hundred percent .

April Snow 15:46

Yeah , have there been moments where you have felt that sense of depth with someone ? You got to build a maybe a little bit of a strong relationship . Not that you have to name names , I'm just curious if you ever get that need satisfied sometimes I'm trying to think , not off the top of my head .

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 16:03

Usually it's other artists that I'll connect with , either here in australia or overseas , and we'll like form a instagram , relate like a online friendship , my internet buddy , or whatever yep , and they'll be like much as like yourself , like over here , you always , or whatever Yep , and they'll be like much as like yourself , like over here , you always check in with each other . Or you'll be like oh , I really loved that . Like the article that you wrote . This podcast is amazing . Like thank you . Yes , it's sort of those . But a handful of other creatives that are out in the same like what I'm doing . They're out there making art and it's like up and down being a freelancer . So we connect over that and it's like , yeah , I feel so , seen , they're out there doing the same thing .

April Snow 16:46

They're creating art that makes them happy and other people happy yeah , that's so important right to have that shared experience with other people . And you mentioned freelancing . You're now a freelancer , but you this isn't where you started , right , you used to work in the corporate world yes , I went to uni and I graduated like 2008 , right , so 2008 to 2021 .

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 17:13

So there was like a big chunk there in and out of like retail jobs because I wasn't landing graphic design jobs as a junior because , again , being highly sensitive , it's like you're in the real world .

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 17:27

You got to keep up or you're out , yeah . So it was like a good three years of me just struggling with trying to get my foot in the door with corporate stuff and finally got a break in the corporate design world , sat in that job for about four years , moved on to another job for about six years , so there was a big 10-year block of me just doing designs for other people and , yeah , yeah , it was not like impactful , it was like not for profits or things like that , but by the end of it I wasn't doing any artwork for me , it was just art for other people . And I was wondering why , again , I was getting so burnt out and I'm just like I'm not that spark's gone . So many years of doing that and then I'm kind of like something's got to change , and that was around the time I was like what's ?

April Snow 18:26

wrong with me ?

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 18:26

everything's happening , yeah , everything happens like kind of like , really came to a head around COVID and I know for a lot of people that it all you get that epiphany of what am I doing with my life , and so it was . It was a crazy time , but it was really great because by the end of 2021 , I knew I wanted to pursue freelancing . I'm like this is a thing that's just gonna be the burden off my shoulders in a way , like you take one off . Okay , now I gotta learn how to run a business . Right , you just traded , yeah , you just trade it , but it's like at least I'm gonna . This is new and exciting and I can do murals here , whereas in previous jobs I couldn't , because it was all corporate , unless I could land something that was like , yeah , you could paint our company wall and then get back right with our logo maybe .

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 19:17

Yeah , it was just never anything I wanted to do . So I was like no , that's all good , I'll want to start my own business and it's all just me doing my thing , and if people want that they can come to me . I don't really want to pick up super corporate stuff anymore because I'm done with that . So that was quite a scary leap , but I was . But you , I knew . In my spirit I was like I need to do this or else I'm just gonna go for another year and get so resentful and not be a nice person ?

April Snow 19:48

yeah , it sounds like you , really , after 10 years of being in these more structured settings where you said I'm not doing anything for me , I'm not creating art for me , you can sort of lose yourself and you hit that limit of like it's time , even though , like you said , there's a whole new set of things to learn and maybe new struggles to sit with . It sounded like this was the only choice for you , would you say .

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 20:16

I could have , not really . I mean , I could have totally got another job elsewhere or could have changed careers , like I had that freedom of flexibility , but I was like no , I feel very strongly that I need to start my own freelancing business , even though I hate doing taxes .

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 20:35

I don't understand yeah all that stuff , just everything logical and mathematical I'm like I don't

Finding Balance in Freelancing

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 20:43

get it . But I was at the point where I was like I'm so committed to freelancing , I will learn these things just so I can do the beautiful , fun stuff of working for myself and having that freedom and especially , on top of that , having freedom over my schedule , which is very enticing for a hsp , because being freelance like you choose when you wake up and get to work , you choose what days you have , whereas I don't have to ask anyone hey , can I have time off over christmas ? Like I call the shots now . And so that's been such a plus for me as , being someone highly sensitive , I'm like , no , I'm gonna take a day off , I'm gonna take a day off and then I'll sort it out later and I'll , yeah , generate the money or , you know , I'll make up for it down the track . Today , in the moment , I need to rest .

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 21:36

I need to go to the beach and see my family like , yeah , calling the shots instead of me , subjective to someone else's wants or needs , schedule wise , not even work wise , so right right .

April Snow 21:52

I mean there's room , when you work for yourself , for the ebb and the flow of wherever your energy and your emotions are , because it's so hard , you know , even when I create a schedule , because I also work for myself and love that freedom of deciding when I have off and when I don't but even when I create my own schedule , I still need flexibility . Yeah , to kind of move around like you know what , today I had this plan , but I I really need to rest or I want to go and do something that's going to , you know , nourish me . Yeah , I'll do it tomorrow or next week .

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 22:24

yeah , it's the future of me , exactly right , like right now , I'm not feeling it and I need to . You know , you very is room to be intuitive , whereas though I never allowed myself space to be intuitive , whereas I never allowed myself space to be intuitive , because it's like , no , you go to school like you've got rules and like structure , which is great , but as a kid , you can't say mom and dad , I want a day off , because they'll be like go to school exactly like I'm sick , like the only time . It's like you would stay home from school . It's like if you were physically sick , which is right , that's it , yeah , that's it , but like I'm like oh actually I need like mental health days , and no one can make me feel bad for having those .

April Snow 23:06

Yeah , there's more nuance . When you entered into this freelance lifestyle , was that pretty effortless to drop into listening to your intuition going with your own rhythm , or did it take a while to adjust to ?

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 23:19

great question because when I back in 2020 , when everything was just like chaotic for me , I was at the point I was like you know what ? Do you know what I really need ? I need six months off work . So I was like you know , I'm gonna . Just , I was at that point . I was like I don't care how bad this looks on my resume or like how many people I'm gonna . Just , I was at that point . I was like I don't care how bad this looks on my resume , or like how many people I'm gonna put out whatever .

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 23:41

I'm taking six months off on my own , like I funded it myself . I was that like sold out to just be , like I need time for myself . So having six months off and having no agenda , no schedule for that six months was so freeing . But it took me about a month , two months , for my mind to actually unwind and the tension to come off , being like I need to perform , I need to , I need stuff , I need to show up somewhere . Like after two months I was like oh , I actually feel really refreshed now and all that stress and anxiety and you know , heartache and grief , that's really subsiding , that's really coming off me . Now I'm like great , this is what I needed . So having that six months was great because I could be like oh yeah , go at my own pace .

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 24:30

So then , when I went back to full-time work , I was like , no , I need , I need to implement what I learnt in my six months and implement that into my everyday life . So that's why freelancing was scary , but it was a choice . I was like I need to do this for future , lisa , because she ain't coping now , like things need to change . I don't want to go back to how . I need to create something way more fulfilling . So the longevity is there for years to come , or else I'm just burnt out and I'm , you know , not doing okay and that's .

April Snow 25:07

No one wants to be in that spot no , they really don't , and you really gave yourself a reset and you don't want to waste that reset Because it's , you know , it's , I love it and you're like I need this time , because we do . We need those times to pause and just catch up with ourselves . Sometimes it's six months , sometimes it's a month , sometimes it's a year , depending on circumstances , but we need those regularly . What did you bring with you from that time into present day ? Was there any practices or routines that you've kept up with ?

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 25:45

I always enjoy getting home from gym and making a proper breakfast and by the time I do gym and have a proper breakfast , sometimes I don't start work till 11 o'clock in the morning and I'm like this is just my life , because I'll probably work until six o'clock that afternoon or I'll make another hour elsewhere .

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 26:07

But I'm like I just having slow mornings is important and obviously , working from home , living by myself as well , there's that freedom and flexibility to no one's pushing you , no one's hustling you , just asking questions about why you're cooking breakfast like I got my own pace . I don't have to answer to anyone . So yeah , having that back in my six months off , I was like I want that slower pace of life . I don't want to be somewhere at 8 30 in the morning . You know , in my like business attire in a meeting unless I want to be . And I get like some days are more structured than others . I've got to meet clients and things , but on the days where I don't need to be rushed , I'm like I'm going to take full advantage of this and go at my own pace and let my body relax .

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 27:00

Yeah , yeah , because you're hustling . Every other time you've got to be like where's the ? Where's the peace ?

April Snow 27:07

exactly . Where's the peace ? I think we don't give enough credit to slow mornings . I also , I , unless I have to , I don don't start before 11 . Right , yep , it's like the magic hour for me , you know , just having that space to wake up , to take care of yourself , to have a nice breakfast . It really sets a foundation , because if we are jumping out of bed , we're running off somewhere .

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 27:34

You don't get to unwind that overstimulation the rest of the day and then it just builds on each other and then you have a coffee and that's like right , like we're so overstimulated and that's great because it's productive , but that's for like corporate stuff and yeah , I get it , we get results and that's amazing and yeah , we need to do the work . I'm not saying we don't need to do the work but , like what happens when we put ourselves last exactly exactly when we put ourselves last .

April Snow 28:07

It just becomes that chronic overstimulation , dysregulation where you end up in burnout , you end up needing to take six months off but if we ? Can right , and I've had , I've been there too , and but if we take some time every day , it doesn't get to that place . Or maybe we take six months off , but we do it out of leisure yeah , just , I just want to go travel or , like you know , just go volunteer somewhere else .

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 28:35

That fills my cup , you know just anything , anything else . But like we were like grinding and on emails and all that stuff , it's so important to unplug it really is , it's just essential .

April Snow 28:51

So freelancing has allowed you to . It's like to be more in your rhythm as an hsp , to listen to yourself . Anything else freelancing has taught you to be more in your rhythm as an HSP , to listen to yourself . Anything else freelancing has taught you or you've been able to do as an HSP .

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 29:05

It's really and like I've just spoken about all the really beautiful things , but I think the really hard learning curves are like I don't have a HR department to go and complain to and for them to advocate on my behalf . I am that person now . So like , again , I'm giving up . I'm like , oh no , I don't need to work in an office or whatever . But also I kind of miss the support in the community and if that's not there in my freelancing job , I need to go out and find it , which is me speaking up and using my voice , which is sometimes that's hard and it's yeah . I like I don't want to have to ask people these things . You kind of just want people to intuitively know that what you need , yes , why can't they For me , like having to always be on searching for answers , fixing stuff , troubleshooting like I knew that was a part of the job , but it's made me be like next level . Okay , I can speak up for myself and this is not a bad thing . It's just how I'm going to operate in my freelancing life now .

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 30:16

So , obviously , speaking up and you're met with opposition , or someone doesn't want you to paint I don't know a certain way or whatever I'm like that starts and ends with me . If I don't feel safe , like on a painting site or whatever , I have every right . And I always tell myself I'm like , yeah , it's important to make money , but I'm like at the cost of my health , of my mental health , yeah , of anything else . If I'm like absolutely scared to be somewhere , I'm like , no , I have every right to pull the plug on this job and respectfully walk away and not think about it twice because I feel , you know , stressed out for whatever reason . So that's been hard but it's been really beneficial because I'll get through a season of saying no to people or speaking up for my rights or whatever .

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 31:08

And especially me being young , like coming across quite young , being female . It's sometimes , unfortunately , people think they can just talk over you or be like , no , no , you'll be fine , they'll glaze over it . But me , being hsp , I'm like , no , you don't understand . I'm actually really struggling in like an environment where it's you feel safe and you do this every day , but for me it's not my cup of tea . So actually , this is , this job's not going to work or whatever . I'm not feeling bad to walk away from fantastic opportunities . I don't be like this would have just been amazing if I just sucked it up and did the job or whatever . But I'm like you know what , it's actually not worth it if I get hurt .

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 31:51

Or and then if I do get injured on a work site , I'm like insurance isn't going to pay for that , like I've always got to be that extra level cautious and always speaking up for myself and having my own back , because at the end of the day no one really has my back in business . So it's been challenging , but it helps me be like oh , I can be a HSP and I can be assertive with my boundaries and not feel bad .

April Snow 32:18

I love that . Yeah , I mean because you have to be your own advocate when you work for yourself , and not just for your physical health , your mental health , but I imagine also for your integrity and art and business . To think about that big picture is important as well 100 yeah , yeah . So this has really helped you kind of grow your muscle self-preservation , self-protection and you said something interesting which is not think twice about it . Is that something you've been able to do ?

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 32:48

just feel really solid in your decisions yeah , because I guess it's like learning to trust my gut . First reaction's always the reaction that we should go with , but we always talk about being like oh , but what they're gonna say , I'm gonna miss out on money , reputation . I'm like no gut feeling .

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 33:09

I've been learning to tap into that and not try and people , please , or for my way into compromise because it just down the track , I'm like why did I agree to it now I'm in this job I don't even want to do ? And then I have to later on be like actually , you know what ? You changed my mind right in the contract , like , and I'm like no , I should be upfront and honest all the time and if it's gonna offend someone or hurt someone , that's not on me to carry . So it's always . Yeah , I always have to be like no , gut knows , gut is the second brain , just go with it and not yes , try and talk myself out of it .

April Snow 33:50

Yes , the gut is the second brain and I can't tell you the times where I've ignored that gut feeling and then it was so much harder later to get out of it .

Trusting Your Gut

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 34:01

We really create rods for our backs just to keep other people happy . Yes , oh yeah , this will be great in other ways for me . But you're like no , mentally this is a no for me .

April Snow 34:12

But then , yeah , down the track it'll come out to haunt us and we're like great , should have just been honest yeah , right , exactly , and that'll free up energy to do something that is a good fit , that you do want to do , that is safe for you , that you love to do . I always think that there's a silver lining . It's uncomfortable in the moment , but it's so much better than dealing with conflict down the road when you're more entwined with the project . Or maybe it takes away energy from something else you could have done . I just think about that . Try to think about that big picture when I'm like taking on a client or saying yes to a commitment or whatever it is . Yeah , such a good reminder . Listen to your gut .

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 34:53

Yeah , especially as HSPs don't overwrite it . Yeah , and I guess , growing up and we're HSPs in a non-HSP world , we get the messages of get over it , suck it up , push through . Pushing through is good , yes , in certain circumstances and we weigh that up , but , like , sometimes , we don't need to push through , we need to choose another way exactly that's so valid it's so valid ?

April Snow 35:20

yeah , because we're . I'm just thinking about where those messages come from . They're often coming from folks who sometimes are trying to be caring , like we want you to fit in , we want you not to give up , you know . But they're coming from people who have a very different lived experience . Yes , don't have the same level of sensitivity , perception , intuition , which is totally okay .

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 35:41

We need those people too , yeah it's yeah , it's all about a balance . We need them because I'm actually I'm feeling like I can push through something and I do it . I'm like I'm glad I had that confidence . I'm like not going to have to my gut says no .

April Snow 36:02

Exactly . How do you personally , if you have a sense , differentiate between I'm going to push a little or I'm going to say no ? Is it a gut feeling or is it something else ?

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 36:07

It's definitely that gut feeling , but I also feel , being a Christian , it's like Holy Spirit is that little voice that's like I'm letting you know you're going to say no and I'll be like yes , and then down the track it will just blow up and I'm like Holy Spirit was right , why did I say no to my gut ? Why did I say no to that , to the spirit trying to warn me ? So now I'm just like , yeah , I need to be more in tune with yeah , but going back to that initial reaction because I'm like , let's , because holy spirit knows what's gonna happen . So I'm like , okay , cool , I need to be more in tune with that , instead of being like , oh , I don't want to say no , because then people are gonna get mad at me and I need to want them to be friends with me . Only you know , whatever reason , whatever , yeah , just being in tune with that is very helpful .

April Snow 37:00

Yeah , tapping into something bigger than yourself . Yes , yeah , your spirituality , spirituality , your religion , your guides , whatever you look to is so important , right , and especially as hsps , we're more attuned to that it can be such a resource . Yeah , I love that . Yeah , so it sounds like freelancing has been a great decision for you yeah , so far , so good , can't complain .

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 37:26

Yeah , that was two years , going on to three years now .

April Snow 37:30

Mm-hmm , that's very very fast . What's different now than three years ago , I think ?

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 37:36

just having that belief in myself . I mean , I did start . I was like , yeah , yeah , I'm going to do the things . But it was always that like okay , if this doesn't work out , I'll just find another full-time job , go back to work . Whatever it was . Always I'm just going to jump out and see what happens and see how it progresses for me . But now I'm sort of into it and I'm establishing my business and freelancing . I'm like , okay , this is where I want to stay for a few years and keep growing it and having that . Yeah , getting through imposter syndrome . Imposter syndrome is still really hard . So , like , I know I have a skill , I know I'm good at it , I know I can get jobs , but it's always that like , is this gonna sustain me for the next five , ten years ?

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 38:29

I don't know , but I'm focusing what I can do right now and , yeah , always just being like , okay , I can do this , like having more confidence and faith in me . And confidence as a HSP doesn't come naturally . Sometimes we get our confidence knocked a lot and then we're like , okay , well , I'm not gonna do it because . But yeah , knowing that I can do it , and if I do make mistakes and stuff up , I'm like that's okay , I keep . I keep at it because this is a lifestyle I want to keep at and because it's just so freeing to create art and do all the things that make me happy yeah , it's been wonderful to watch you over the last few years just get more prolific in your art and take on new opportunities and kind of grow into this role .

April Snow 39:19

And it's working right . Like you said , you know that you can do it . Just a matter of really trusting in yourself . It's hard as an HSP . We've been told our experience isn't accurate , so that doubt comes on pretty easily . But you're seeing like it play out in your life like , okay , this is working , let's hope it'll keep working . Is there anything you would tell 2021 Lisa ?

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 39:43

my goodness , I would tell her that you can do it .

April Snow 39:51

Yeah .

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 39:51

You can do hard stuff and it does take work . But it's also important to put yourself first and not feel selfish , because once your cup's filled , you've got capacity to pour out to others , instead of the other way around , how I was operating I pour out to others and I'm empty and then I'm like , okay , time to refill . It's no , it's actually . It's so okay to be selfish , it's okay to let people down and I did do an artwork about that . It's hey , it's okay to let people down . And there's like little sparkles around it and it's quite a deep message because I'm just like , oh , my gosh , like I hate letting people down and people pleasing is just so much easier . But I'm like no , I need to stand up for myself . Let people down and let them . Let them , not me having to cater to fixing their emotional state .

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 40:50

I stand up for me . You do you no hard feelings like exactly right .

April Snow 40:55

It's okay to pour into yourself . You don't have to hold everyone else's emotions . I know we feel like we should , but we don't have to .

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 41:02

We can't even yeah , but I feel like I guess , because we are so in tuned , it's easy for us to be like , oh , tell me about , tell me about everything that's been going on , because , yes , we love connecting over deep stuff , but we don't realize that it's actually quite draining as well and we're like , oh , I really enjoy this , but now it's just so . I've got no capacity now .

April Snow 41:27

So it's , yeah , being in tune , yeah , and pacing ourselves with how much we take on of others , yeah . And just like you talked about your morning routine , you give to yourself first , same in every other area , like make sure we have our fuel before we go on that trip with someone .

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 41:45

Yeah , yeah , do not want to run out . No , all you want to do is go on a trip and you're like , oops , we ran out of fuel and we're in the middle of nowhere and now we need to leave . Exactly Right . It's not wise , no , no , it's not With our emotional capacity , with our physical capacity , because it's like it's good to be , it's good to hustle , it's good to be productive , because it looks so lazy , it's so bad not to just rest .

April Snow 42:21

Yeah , which we need . So , yes , exactly , we really do need it , and I mean , you're a testament to this . Look what happens when you take a pause you do rest and recharge and then you get to step into something more fulfilling .

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 42:36

Yeah .

April Snow 42:36

Yeah .

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 42:38

Yeah , it's a good reset . I highly recommend it . If people are listening to this and they're like should I ? Yeah , do it . Yes , it's really hard and it was really scary for me to actually tell my workplace , even though they're the nicest people ever . Scary for me to actually tell my workplace , even though they're the nicest people ever for me to actually have that confidence , to approach them and be like would you consider holding my job for six months . They could turn around and say , no , that's not going to work for us . But they were so gracious to be like yeah , we would love to give you that six months off . Come back in six months' time . We'd love to know how you're doing . It was hard to tell family and friends because they're like we don't understand . We know you're struggling , but we didn't know it was that bad that you need to take time off I've just been like keeping my head above water for many years .

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 43:23

I don't want to annoy anyone right , right .

April Snow 43:27

We're often we're trained to keep that in right . Our emotions are too big so we tend to tuck it away and people don't realize and also what we're feeling at such a deep level . Someone else would probably only be feeling that at a fraction of this . You know the same emotion , so it doesn't look big to them , but for us it is it is yeah and it's something I try and I always kind of get a little bit upset .

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 43:50

I'm like , why can't they understand ? And I'm like , well , they can't because they hate the non-HSP . And like , how would I ? I'm like , no , it's one of those things I think I've had to accept being like they might not ever understand , and that's okay , but I know that they still love me and they meet me where I'm at and that's that's . That's like perfect . And I'm like , okay , cool , I find my own HSP community and connect with them on that level because that's where I feel the most seen and understood there , so it's like there's a balance , because they're the people that are like come on , you can do it .

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 44:23

Yes , they're the talkers and the HSP take the break , so yes , both .

April Snow 44:30

We need both . That's such a good point . I've never thought about that . Yeah , the non-hsps in your life , with the people that are going to kind of pump you up a bit , yeah , and then the hsps are going to let you know it's time to come back down and rest and we need both . I mean , that's just kind of a microcosm of what why we need both . In society , we have the people that are pushing the action and then the others are like let's's rest , let's observe , let's take a beat . We need that balance . We do , yeah , yeah . Well , lisa , this has been just a lovely conversation and I appreciate you so much sharing your own story and kind of giving a glimpse into this big transformation you made in your own life and what that's been like over the last few years . I definitely want folks to be able to connect with you , so I'll be sure to share your website , your Instagram . You have a lovely newsletter . I'll share all that in the show notes . Let's say , listeners are intrigued about working with you . What does that look like ?

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 45:23

They can definitely work with me . I have an online store which I've got , you know , artwork and products and merchandise . I also do murals . If they're local , I can travel as well . But if murals aren't available , we can always look at designing wallpapers and things like that to ship over and then , on top of that branding , I also do graphic design and branding , tapping back into my corporate skills . But the way I do branding is for businesses that like have heart and soul and everything's right and then like things are just different . It's not , yes , it's just usually for small businesses that have all that personality that they want to get out through their branding . And , yeah , finding that sort of my niche of clients , it's just fantastic because there's a lot of beautiful people out there to work with . So , yeah , if any of those services tickles their fancy , they can totally reach out to me . I would love to work with them Love that .

April Snow 46:26

I'll also share your online store . I forgot to mention that and it's great you have that and people can work with you in a lot of different ways or , at the very least , connect with you on Instagram and keep up with your HSP inspired art and just everything that you share 100% .

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 46:41

Yeah , there's many different ways .

April Snow 46:43

Beautiful . Well , thank you so much for this conversation , Lisa .

Lisa-Marie Vecchio 46:46

You're so welcome . Thanks , april . Welcome , thanks , april .

April Snow 46:56

Thanks so much for joining me and Lisa for today's conversation . I hope you're feeling inspired to make some subtle or not so subtle changes in your life , to slow down and feel more spaciousness , to work with Lisa or buy her colorful art prints , planners and other goods . You can visit her website , lisadesigncom . That's L-I-S-A-D-O-T-D-E-S-I-G-Ncom . The link is also in the show notes . If you enjoyed this episode , subscribe to the Sensitive Stories podcast so you don't miss our upcoming conversations . Reviews and ratings are also helpful and appreciated For behind-the-scenes content and more HSB resources . You can sign up for my email list or follow Sensitive Strengths on Instagram , tiktok and YouTube . Check out the show notes or sensitivestoriescom for all the resources from today's episode . Thanks for listening .